im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
