I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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