I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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