What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
