did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
