I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
