trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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