I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
