just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Vodka?
Forever.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
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