Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
