super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
