some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
