She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
