dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
