i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
