I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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