I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
