He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
