The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
