so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize