Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
