Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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