i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
