going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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