? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
