thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
