i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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