It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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