I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Im part way to drunk.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
