Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
