She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Randomize
