That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
