btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
And then my night got REAL pukey
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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