Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize