Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
