If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
