Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
