now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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