The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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