i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
