the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
