Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
