i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
