highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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