Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
