Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
