i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
