I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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