We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
