Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize