***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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