so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
