you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
