hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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