Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
