As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My pussy is not your playground.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
