Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize