It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
