people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Randomize
