If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
