Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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