he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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